thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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