I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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