Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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