Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think people are normalizing furries
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
