I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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