this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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