I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
