Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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