dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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