It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
