that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
