when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
