Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
