We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
