are you still at the devil's house?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
