We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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