We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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