my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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