The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
