shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
