Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
