Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
