remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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