I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
