Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
