it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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