I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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