They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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