I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
