i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
