how can u be prego again
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
