i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
