so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
