its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
