Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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