just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
