I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
