she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
