Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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