His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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