How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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