Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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