i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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