Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
