I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also, beer. Big fan.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
