I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
