Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
