Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
