Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
