As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
