Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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