"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
