She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and she was petting her beer can
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
